The road less travelled

What does my heart seek I do not know.
Why is there this desire,is not obvious.
But it is there.
And it burns.
Sometimes,the flames rise so high,
that they threaten to burn me down.
And then there is chaos.Unrest!!
I hibernate to let the gusty winds pass.
Am exhausted by the storm within.
Lethargy numbs my limbs and drowns the fire of life within.
What is it that I seek,I do not know.
I look hopefully towards God or Destiny,to show me my road.
I wish the fires die down and I'm spared the agony of these burns.
My body aches with the pain.
Why is there this discontentment?
Why seek utopia?
Why not seek satisfaction within.
Is there something called a soul mate?
Does he even exist?
What does my heart seek?
Do I even know?
If it is not here then where?
If it is not now then when?
If it is not me then who?
I have countless questions,but none answered.
What remains is an agonizing pain within.

Early mornings!

It was dawn and my mother was immersed in her early morning prayers.
Broke my sleep and I was wide awake.
Some kind of lethargy crept over me,and I almost stubbornly
lay across my bead,refusing to start the day.
Is a pattern I religiously follow every single day.
At night I resolve to get up,and mornings are made up of breaking that
promise.
So dedicated am I to my early morning slumber that I usually
sleep on the toilet seat and brush my teeth in dark.
I refuse to turn on the lights.
An electric bulb burning all through the night never hurts my eyes,
but the rays of the early sun,infuse some kind of a potent narcotic
in the BULB!!
Pah!!
Today was a small improvement though.
Due to the constant pestering from my mom,
I went to the gym and had a 20 minute workout on
the cross trainer.
Have a session in the evening,so will have a proper workout then.
What's worse is I hate my mom's voice early in the morning.
She somehow can be at her loudest,when all you need is quiet all around.
I always pray to God that she looses her tongue at that hour of the day!!
Unimaginable I know!!
I'm trying to break out of this pattern as well,but darn will take the life out
of me trying to do it.
I wish to fill my mornings with activity joy and mirth,as it is the best hour of the day,when nature is in its prime glory,and the divine forces are up and about.
Wish I learn to wake up to an early morning rather than dread rising to it.

Amen!!

Say No to opinions!!

Sometimes,I wonder why do I have an opinion?
Until,one encounters another fellow human who
deliberately seeks to harm you,why must we have an opinion.
Going by my narcissistic ways,why do I cramp my head with
the guilt of having an opinion about someone else?
Is wrong and I shall change it.
Growing up in life I have cut short a lot of my opinions.
Opinions eventually gave way to gossip.
When a talk cannot be fruitful to another human being,
it ceases to make a point.
On being hurt,talking about it can sometimes alleviate the pain.
But this pattern is a bit dangerous and I daresay..plain tacky.
When we recognize a pattern in a friend or acquaintance,we either need
to evaluate our friendship or accept our friend with his/her fault.
When the faults outweigh the good times,then the relationship is
practically a corpse and mummies are plain freaky and should not
be hung in your closet.
Either way,honesty is the best policy.
I sometimes cease to be honest with myself.
And that is a source of tremendous agony in my life.
I shall change that.
I had in my earlier post resolved to be a neutral if not positive
influence on society.
And I need to stick by that.
The change must be made,and page turned.
Trust me opinions are as lethal as DRUGS and one must say NO TO THEM!